What happened to Amelia?

Note to readers
The content below was inadvertently omitted from the back of my graphic novel "5 Reasons Cognitive Behavior Therapy Doesn’t Work." My apologies to my readers.


What happened to Amelia?

In the last session of this graphic novel, Amelia expressed that she had a fear of failing, didn’t want to disappoint people, and didn’t want to let people down. She also came to an understanding of why she envied Mike. He was so carefree and could just roll with the punches. She could not do that. And what she discovered about herself, as they moved along in the therapy, is how she suffers from extreme self-responsibility. The company was successful with her as CEO. It had a good footprint in the market and was making money but Amelia could not see this. She thought her responsible focus was why it was working, and if she let down at all it would fail.

The fundamental insights about responsibility helped her realize that the pressure to be in perfect control resulted in her feeling isolated and imprisoned in her own world. Her compulsive need to control fueled her anxiety and contributed to people around her feeling needlessly anxious. The more she and Charlie talked about it, the more she realized she wanted some freedom and stability in her life. She started wanting to not be so responsible. These insights helped her to see that she had trouble letting herself feel what life is all about.

As they moved further into processing, Amelia began to talk about her options, such as possibly co-owning the business with Sissy. She also revealed that she was in a relationship with a man in San Francisco. It was complicated as he could not move. He had been in a previous marriage and wanted to stay there for his son. She didn’t know where the relationship was going but flexibility in her life would allow her the freedom if the relationship did become more serious.

Amelia came to understand that her words, “I should never have taken this CEO position in the first place …It was a mistake” were due to the humiliation she would feel if she failed. The idea that she didn’t have it in her, and that she would be letting people down were intolerable. The insight linking self-responsibility and humiliation at thinking she was failing helped her to realize that she had never been free to look at options. She spontaneously began talking more about co-ownership so that if she did move she could do her part remotely. She began thinking how that would give her the freedom to explore if she wanted to do something totally different.

As Amelia progressed, she finally could embrace that the company was thriving and that she had laid a stable foundation. She understood how she was so busy trying to overcome anxiety through being responsible that she couldn’t allow herself to see the good things she was accomplishing. Cognitively, she did not have words for any of that. However, once she began processing towards relieving insights, she found that it was all right below the surface. The insights did not resolve everything but “broke in principle” the hold her particular psychodynamics had on her. She could finally be psychologically-minded about her thoughts and behaviors. Amelia had become more autonomous in how she approached her world, her relationships, and her choices.

One final note: Amelia’s fear of losing control and running people over on the sidewalk never came up again. While Al had suggested that Charlie tell Amelia that it was a common reaction, usually tied to humiliation at one possibly failing, there was nothing to suggest that it was an insight for Amelia. Charlie and Al assumed that the problem lost its power once she heard it was fairly normal.